Ok, so first and foremost, I would like to state that Mr. Hero is the devil. Not really, because it is magically delicious, but because it also gave me explosive diarrhea.
"Why the hell do we need to know that, Jimmie?" Well good question... Because it is has been the center of my life for almost two weeks now! Two Thursdays ago I thought it would be a grand idea to get Mr. Hero for lunch. It was delicious, with their yummy waffle fries and the yummy cheese... But it got me sick... very sick. Sick enough to have such bad shits that I ripped me bum. Thats right kids, Little Jimmie has a broken butthole! I like to call it FB, short for flaming butthole. And what NOT perfect timing. I finally have a boyfriend that I can do dirty things with, but no, I'm broken! (Thank God he is not only using me for my body, or I would be fucked... or not.... ) Thankfully he enjoys me for my intellectual mind and my witty banter!
But though painful as this is (and I mean I pray to Baby Jesus every night for this nightmare to end... because seriously, I would not wish this upon my worst enemy!) it is a little humorous. I tend to be the butt of everyones jokes now.... literally! Now I truly am a pain in the ass! It got so bad I had to see a doctor and she had to put her finger up my butt. I told her that usually someone buys me dinner before I let them do that. Oh my, will the amusement never end!
So in closing. My words from the wise would be: Careful what you eat, especially Mr. Hero, for though they may satisfy your loins for a brief moment... moments later they may tear open your asshole!
And for those of you asking whether it was sex that did this (Thank God after two years I finally got laid) the answer is no. This happened at a later date and time from the "celestial awaking of the loinal gods."
